cooking · fitness · Health

Exercise Is the Worst, But I Hate Cellulite

Working out sucks.

There, I said it. I hate everything about working out – the sweat, the soreness, the way I slowly die inside as my muscles burn and every cell in my body screams at me to stop. It is the literal worst. Can’t I just live on protein smoothies and eat 1000 calories per day and call it done? Sure, working out is good for you. It’s great for heart health, muscle strength, depression, anxiety and overall wellbeing.

I’ve gone through phases in life where exercise was a big part of my routine and felt great, and then there are times where it’s been months since I’ve deliberately worked out (ahem, current situation) and felt basically like walking garbage. Yes, it sucks, it takes time out of busy schedules filled with preschool drop off, grocery shopping, laundry, meal planning and the other hundred mom related activities that have to happen daily. Gym memberships are terrific if you can actually go to the gym.

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After G was born, I told myself I was going to be back down to my pre-kids weight by his first birthday. Like every other mama with a goal she’s determined to reach, I got a gym membership at a place with childcare and dedicated three days a week to either taking a class or working out solo. I started out strong! Weight lifting class, spin class, cardio on “off days.” Look at me, such a happy gym-goer!

Then it all snowballed. G got Hand, Foot & Mouth from his very first stay at drop-in daycare and we were out of commission for a solid two weeks. Once he got better, C got sick. The cycle continued. Between preschool and the rare encounters with drop in childcare, we could not get healthy. I can’t in good conscious take sick kids to the child care center at the gym. Parents who knowingly take their kids to school, daycare, or any other type of child care establishment when sick are the epitome of everything I don’t like about people. Of course there are days when you cannot miss work or there’s an important appointment that can’t be rescheduled, but if none of those reasons apply, for the love of all things healthy, stay home! *Woosah*

I canceled the gym membership. Paranoia of catching something else loomed over my desire to be a MILF and I holed my kids up inside instead of risking infection. Yes, I’m that mom. Illness in the house makes me feel like I’m covered in creepy little germs and I feel sick because I’m scared of getting sick. Anxiety is fun! So instead of working out, I consumed fast food way too often, made cookies, ate the leftover macaroni and cheese C left on his plate and all of the other little things that add up over time and made me see the highest number on the scale since I had my youngest baby over a year ago.

And that brings us to my current situation. I’ve got to get control of my diet and start moving more. The picture in my head of what I look like does not in any way match what I see in the mirror. Being the mom of boys means needing energy to be active – play, run, jump, dance – and anything else their little hearts desire. I am tired. So tired. Having a toddler that has yet to sleep through the night is a great excuse for being too exhausted to work out. But that toddler usually only wakes up around 11 p.m. these days and sleeps later than the four year old. I have no one to blame but myself and my addiction to taking Buzzfeed quizzes and reading trashy vampire novels until midnight every night because it’s the only time it’s ever friggin’ peaceful in this house. You know, mamas, you know.

So it’s time. No more excuses for why I can’t workout. No more getting a burger in the drive thru when I can just as easily get a salad. We have a double jogging stroller and it’s about time that thing gets some routine usage! We are making changes. Cutting carbs, dairy and sugar. The Instant Pot is our new best friend. Y’all, this pressure cooker is amazing. I cooked a frozen freezer meal to perfection in this thing in an hour. One hour. That is a really big deal as a busy mom. Making healthy dinners for me and the husband has to be quick or something that can be prepped ahead of time and cooked later. That’s right, I said “me and the husband,” because let’s face it, the kids think everything we eat it “gross” or “smells weird.” Don’t judge me, they eat fruit and vegetables with their dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.

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Keep me accountable, y’all. Check in. Ask me if I’ve worked out this week. I’m going to make a point of posting sweaty (but cute) selfies on Instagram, share recipes and resources here on the blog and write about my journey to becoming a hot mom, one cellulite dimple at a time.

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14 thoughts on “Exercise Is the Worst, But I Hate Cellulite

  1. Hi, great post. I think with a toddler you’re probably getting a great workout anyway. I’m getting fit and working out for a charity trek in May, I should have been to the gym several times this week but have a bug and just want to eat rubbish. Back on it next week though! I can’t stand protein shakes but I am trying to get more protein in my diet. Good luck with your exercise! #weekendblogshare

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  2. Ohhhhh I wish I could be as motivated as you. Have just sold my treadmill which I bought with the best of intentions to walk/run in the evenings when I had the kids and couldn’t get to a gym even if I could afford one. I know that being fit is important but I just can’t find the motivation – especially in this cold weather so for now I’m just accepting that I’m a little bit more podgy than I’d like.

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  3. What an adorable young mom you are! I can say this because I was once a young mom myself (not sure how adorable). Oh, my kid (known on my blog as The Child) is beautiful and went to Harvard. She also ate chicken nuggets almost exclusively. I found you on the fabulous #weekendblogshare

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